When a woman’s daughter-in-law finally got a job after being out of the workforce for a while due to being a stay-at-home mom, she asked the grandmother if she would take care of her children, but the woman said no.
A grandmother took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for refusing to look after her grandchildren for a week as her daughter-in-law returned to the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom for four years.
The grandmother shared that her daughter-in-law had stayed home with her children, aged four and two, for a while but had finally landed a job in her field after searching for the right one.
However, the problem came in when she could only get her children into daycare a week after her job was set to start. She contacted the children’s grandmother to ask if she would care for them. However, the grandmother said no.
Why Did the Grandmother Say No?
The grandmother shared that if her son and daughter-in-law were working and commuting to and from work, she would care for the children for approximately nine hours a day. Yet this was not the issue.
The grandmother said she would happily have looked after her other son’s children, but her daughter-in-law had too many rules for her children, which she would have to follow if she cared for them.
The children are vegetarian and follow a strict diet, for which her daughter-in-law never provided food. The grandmother’s daughter-in-law was also strict about the language her children heard and didn’t want her mother-in-law to have the TV on when her children were there.
The mother of the children also wanted her four-year-old to do enrichment worksheets, which she expected the child’s grandmother to facilitate. The children were also on a strict schedule, which the grandmother felt was too much for the children.
The grandmother also said that aside from everything else, her daughter-in-law didn’t want her mother-in-law’s friends to be around her children because she disapproved of them. She found this the most ridiculous thing as she saw her friends nearly every day and wouldn’t be able to see them if her grandchildren were there. The grandmother lamented:
“I told my son that that’s way too much to ask of anyone, and they need to find a professional.”
However, her son begged her to help them out. Although the grandmother was not interested, her daughter-in-law phoned her crying and said she didn’t want to lose the job opportunity because she had no childcare.
What Happened Next?
After getting her daughter-in-law’s phone call, the grandmother took to Reddit to find out if she was wrong for not wanting to babysit her grandchildren or if her daughter-in-law was bad for expecting her to care for the children. She received mixed responses.
Some people told her she was being unreasonable because the title had made it seem she would be looking after her grandchildren permanently, but it was only a week, and she needed to help her son and daughter-in-law.
Another commenter said caring for her grandchild should not be treated as “labor” and said they were lucky their grandmother had never viewed them as a burden and was always willing to help their parents with childcare. One commenter was shocked that the grandmother worried more about seeing her friends than her grandchildren.
Others had different opinions. One person said that grandparents should never be treated as free childcare, while others wondered why the children’s week at their grandparents couldn’t be considered a “vacation.” The commenter clarified:
“Take a whole five days off from doing worksheets. I mean, obviously, the child won’t get into the mother’s first choice Ivy League school because of that [five] days of not learning when the kid was [four], but it’s all about balance.”
Some users thought that all the rules the grandmother’s daughter-in-law imposed on her were too much and that she shouldn’t be expected to do them for even one day, let alone a whole week.
While this woman was unwilling to babysit her grandchildren despite her daughter-in-law’s pleas, another woman took care of her grandchildren only to be thrown out of the house later that night.
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